Online Dating Is A Difficult Process
That Offers Some Rewards
Many people who are on the dating scene turn to the online dating
websites to find new friends and lovers. But that road is a hard
one that can occasionally bring those with great patience – great
Beyond everything else, patience is required of anyone who is
pursuing friends, lovers or mates in the real world and online.
When I do the dating thing in the real world, I find several
opportunities to talk to the person in whom I am interested. Then
after a few meets, I pop the big question, asking for a date.
Then date night comes along and it may work, and it may not, but
more frequently all seems well early, only to fall apart at a
Folks, online dating comes with all the same pitfalls as offline
dating. You advertise yourself, you find people whom you may be
interested, you try to talk it up, and then the first date comes.
That first date may work and it may not.
In the end, online dating is much the same as offline dating,
with a few more benefits and pitfalls thrown in to frustrate the
person seeking a date.
The Differences Between The Online And Offline Experience
The biggest difference between the online and offline dating
experience is a benefit that comes from it.
Benefits Of Online Dating
With online dating, you get to be introduced to people with whom
you may have never had the opportunity to meet in person –
usually due to different lifestyles and different locations.
With online dating, you also have the ability to sort through the
profiles of hundreds or thousands of people to narrow your list
to your best matches more quickly.
Shortcomings Of Online Dating
When you meet someone you like in person and you say hi, he or
she will usually say hi back. For every 20 emails sent out, as
few as 2 or 3 may respond back.
Some online daters have defined this as the difference between
“talkers” and “doers”. Many point out that most people online
only want to talk about meeting, but when it comes down to it,
they will be unwilling to take the “action” step.
This actually happens in one of two ways. First is when you send
out an email and no one ever responds. The second is when you
actually set up a date, only to be stood up.
Let’s be honest about why this happens.
So many people have heard horror stories about people who have
met strangers online, only to have the meet go horribly bad. Yes,
the criminal element hangs out online as well as at the local
Ladies fear the criminal predators, and the guys should fear the
fake profile predators who are always working towards asking for
money to be sent for a needed emergency expense.
The one time I ran into the fake profile predator, I should have
known when she could not talk intelligently about her hometown. I
knew the gig was up when she started professing her love after
only a few conversations. And the gig was finally up, when this
woman who supposedly made about three times as much money as
myself needed help to pay for her babysitter in some far off
The trick to ensuring your safety is to always make your first
date in a public place. That way, if things go badly on that
first date, then you can seek assistance from other people if
necessary. You can even ask the cashier to call the police out to
help escort you to your car.
Unfortunately, many people go so far as to set up a date in a
public place, but when the scheduled date time arrives, they
simply do not show up. Many of the people who got stood up were
good, honest people, but the person who stood them up will never
be able to find that out, because they never met the person whom
they agreed to meet for that first date.
Fear Is The Greatest Demotivator
When dating online, the opportunities are available for some
great people to meet and get together, but too often, people let
the fear of contact stand in the way of letting people come
together. The fear of responding to an email is the greatest
threat to the successful fulfillment of one’s relationship
desires, but also the fear of actually meeting someone in person
will prevent even people who have chatted online for a long time
from coming together.
I am always amazed when I think back to my friend Lisa, who
chatted with a guy online for more than one year, before the two
of them met. And then they dated for several months when he moved
to her hometown. They are still married eight years later. With
so many things that could go wrong in the online dating
experience, it is nice to know that there are success stories
that we can share.
Copyright (c) 2009-2012 Lance Metzger
NSA Dating Site
Lance Metzger writes about relationships, offline and online
dating. Our no-strings-attached dating site has become a popular
online adult dating destination, due to its large membership
base of people looking for relationships of all kinds. Learn
more at: http://www.nsadatingsite.com/
Consider Lance’s new Kindle book, “Making Memories: Creative
Dating Ideas”: http://raintreepublishing.com/creative-dating-ideas/